I struggle

for my footing.

Reprimands

frequently surprise me.

Chastise me.

For what?

You say, "Ask."

I do.

Reprimanded once again.

I do not submit lightly

nor easily.

Yet you demand it

without giving knowledge in return.

You show me your world

But refuse to allow me in.

I am a shadow in the corner.

Glance past me.

Clean my cobwebs

but never illuminate my inner crevices.

Has my life been so charmed

that this struggle is the nature of the outsider?

A foreign experience

to the sliver spoon.

Or has it simply been

a strength of character

that allows me to turn away

from those who shun me?

Not today. I yearn to know this world that feels like a missing part of my soul.

Demands.

Grovel for acceptance.

Shed the layers you disapprove of.

I think not.

I refuse to submit.

And therefore must wander this path alone,

the blind leading the sightless.

Where shall we go?

I have been assured there is pain ahead.

Just as the pain echoes behind

in my cavern of ignorance.

We wander

together

alone

one wanting

one following

Who will show us the bloody light?

Who will bind us in erotic delight?

Who will guide us through mental chains so tight?

I do not know.

And I weep.

I will not submit

Not to the weak of mind.

But to the strong of heart.

Where are you?

Who are you?

Are you?